It's why, by the end, I was able to say I understood depression a bit better. <><><><>
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<><><><><><><>\nIt's a chilly Thursday night, and you've just gotten off work. I can't do this anymore..."// she says, though it doesn't feel real. You desperately want this relationship to continue, to be stronger. You apologize profusely the entire time, feeling like you're being obnoxious but she reassures you that you aren't burdening her. Due to the lack of communication, she starts feeling like it's her fault, and a wedge is driven between the two of you. The hardest part, it seems, was taking the first step. Depression Quest is an interactive fiction game where you play as someone living with depression. Depression Quest is an interactive fiction game where you play as someone living with depression. Geplaatst door 27/10/2020 Laat een reactie achter op can you see the flag on the moon from earth with a telescope Lie.|lietoHer]]\n[[2. You know this job isn't what you want to do for the rest of your life, and you've started actively looking for other positions, even attending a couple of preliminary interviews.\n\nYou've started making effort to go out with your friends more. This way we don't have to have a kajillion checks and can just put people through a short ringer all at once and the point will be made. <>You were terrified of talking to her about everything at first, but looking back you feel like it's only strengthened your relationship. Alex's apartment is a short walk away, and there are already people hanging out on the porch. Being able to rethink what you say as you type it out and check it before you send it out helps you gather your thoughts, and you find it less intimidating in a way to type it all into a prompt than say it out loud. "Giant Bomb, â[Depression Quest] is 'game' as communication, comfort and tool of understanding. Sure, you're having a hard time lately and have motivation issues, but are you really //in need of therapy//? What do you do?\n\n[[1: Accept a prescription as a way to augment your therapy.|hugsandDrugs]]\n[[2: Tell her you'd like to try drugs instead of therapy. Go a bit more in depth with the kind of shit that keeps us up at night, stupidly. "// You set your alarm to go off a few hours before work with the idea that you'll come back to it then, and you go to bed early.\n\n<>[[Next.|totalDumbass]]<>[[Next.|tellThem]]<>\n\n<>\n, You talk with your friend a bit which helps ease your mind, and you excuse yourself after a few minutes of banter. "// With that she leads you over to the couch and sits on the other end of it, facing you. You notice the note you left yourself a few days ago with the therapist's number on it. \n\nTwenty semi-tedious games of //Bejeweled Blitz// later, your partner returns. You are feeling kind of run-down, but you have been fatigued most of the time lately. //"It was cheesy anyway. I'm trying to figure this out as I go. You feel what can only be described as //mentally fidgety//, like there's an unscratchable itch somewhere on your //brain// that is becoming increasingly hard to ignore. \n\nYou imagine Alex, out with her friends, much like you would be tonight if you weren't so horrible at socializing. All of this feels much worse than the side effects of the medication, so you resume taking it and desperately wait for the readjustment period to be over.\n\nYou'll not make this mistake again.\n<>\nDr. You've hung out with this roommate a few times with Alex, and you get along well enough but aren't particularly close.\n\nYou don't have work in the morning, and have nothing else in particular to do tonight. Go home.|justgoHome]]\n\n<>\n, <>
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<><><><><><><>\nIt is an utterly nondescript Wednesday afternoon; the type of afternoon that would completely fade from memory unless one made an active effort to preserve it. <>Even though you've discussed your situation with her, you still fear that she doesn't realize the depths of how bad it gets. I just don't want to have to put her in a shelter. The hardest part, it seems, was taking the first step. You pace anxiously around your apartment while you eat, irritated both by whatever this nerve-wracking feeling is and by your ability to just ignore it and unwind. "//\n\nYou sit through a few more sales pitch statements that border on guilt trips and rebut them with fabricated excuses about your landlord not allowing pets before your coworker gives up, and thanks you anyway. "//\n\nThe annoyed tone in her voice makes you think otherwise, but you take it as a sign that you should probably drop it for now, and you feel badly for upsetting things.\n\n[[Next.|amanda]]\n\n<>, <>
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<><><><><><><>\n\nAfter Alex walks away, you're not quite sure what to do with yourself. "//\n\nA young man taps her on the shoulder, and she turns back to you to apologize and let you know they have to do something for the party. You know you care a lot less about everything in general when tipsy, but you know you should avoid getting drunk and possibly emotional. To be honest, I really didn't think you'd show. "//\n\nYour father interrupts, lightly placing his hand over your mother's. The dam breaks, and you find yourself trying to explain your situation to your boss. So maybe you should head home. <>You're not entirely sure what to expect, and you spend the rest of the afternoon researching cat care online and trying to think of a name.\n\nThe evening rolls around and you hear a knock at your door, startling you out of reading Wikipedia entirely too hard. These things were included in order to touch upon as broad a range as possible, since all these elements can be very important to sufferers of depression, though they will likely not be the experiences of most sufferers.\n\nIt's important to recognize that not everyone with depression is so lucky. It's not something that you had specifically considered before, and he seems fairly insistent.\n\n//"She's a real sweetheart, really loves people. \n\nHow do you respond? Your room is completely silent, but the silence has given way to a loud static noise rattling around inside your head. Mellville tells you that this is a common thing for depression sufferers to experience. \n\nAs soon as you think about the work that awaits you at home you can feel the panic creeping in from the back of your brain, unbidden. \n\n//"Maybe it's time to stop taking these,"// you think, //"I seem to not really need them anymore. As you enter the small room and sit down, your palms are sweating and your heart rate has accelerated considerably. She says she understands and wishes you a good night, though you can't help but notice that she sounds slightly disappointed.\n\nIronically, the stress of potentially upsetting your partner compounds with the stress of not having gotten anything done this evening and the stress of having to go into work tomorrow. Your insomnia makes you a little paranoid, but you shake it off.<>\n\nattic: we can do some research and see if there's a good doctor near you\nattic: its not like you're going back to sleep anytime soon anyway\nattic: might as well do something while you're awake\nattic: :)\n\n1: You: This is just a low night, I am normally able to sleep and I don't have depression, but thank you for your concern.\n[[2: You: No that's ok.|nothankYou]]\n<>[[3: You: It can't hurt to talk to someone I guess.|cantHurt]]<>[[3: You: Actually I have talked to someone about it.|alreadyinTherapy]]<>\n\n<>\n, <><><><><><><>
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<><><><><><><>\nNights like this, you're very glad you made the call to become a cat owner. You desperately want this relationship to continue, to be stronger. Don't worry! You're not in charge of anything important, you're distant from your friends, so who would even notice?\n\nYour thoughts are interrupted by your phone ringing next to your head. "// you take her hand, squeezing it. You start convincing yourself that now that she knows everything, she's going to leave. Alex hands you a beer and plants a kiss on your cheek before going off to deal with whatever came up.\n\nAs you look around, you don't see anyone else you recognize.\n\n1: Enthusiastically socialize!\n[[2: Awkwardly stand in the same spot, unsure of what else to do.|awkwardlyStand]]\n[[3: Put your bag in your Alex's room and avoid the crowd in there for a while.|gotoRoom]]\n[[4: Cling to the back wall, sip your beer, and wait for your girlfriend to return|backWall]]\n[[5: Proceed to drink in earnest, hoping it makes you less uncomfortable|getCrunk]]\n\n<>, <><>
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<><><><><><><>\n\nYou have your first session with your new therapist, Dr. Susan Melville, a tall woman in her mid 40's with a disarming demeanor and patient eyes with the start of the slightest smile lines. Your heart beats loudly and you worry it's beating a little too fast. \n\nEven though you love your family, you really feel like they don't know you at all sometimes and this makes them exhausting to be around on nights like this. "// he replies with a slight laugh. //"Things with us have felt kind of... weird lately. //"I'm shopping around for a better position, too. } var text = ''; His best finish was in sixth place, and his first win was in 2002 at Aaron's 312 in Atlanta. \n\n<>Things with Alex have become more and more strained. You still definitely have days where you flake out or don't feel up to hanging out, but for the most part your friends are understanding and appreciate your communication.\n\nBy far the biggest change you've noticed in your life has been in your relationship with Alex. Anything else to take your mind off of how awful and lonely you feel right now.\n\nWhat do you do? At this point, losing your job is not only a real possibility, it's downright probable.\n\nYour personal relationships have deteriorated as well. She'd probably just think you were complaining about nothing anyway. \n\nThough you're laying in bed with her, you feel completely alone as you spend another hour or two wide awake and full of self loathing, berating yourself for being such a coward.\n\n[[Next.|stayingatHome]]\n\n<>, <><><>
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<><><><><><><>\nYou dial Alex, who picks up after only two rings. Sorry it's been a few weeks. Given how nearly everything in your life has been feeling enormous and stressful lately, this doesn't come as a surprise to you. I guess I've been having kind of a hard time lately. Looking at her door, it doesn't make sense to you. "//\n\n//"It's killing me to say this but..."// Her voice cracks. "//\n\nShe smiles at you, and the two of you kiss. A downloadable game for Windows, macOS, and Linux. //"We're just getting used to each other. You've never meant to hurt her, and you are torn up that you've caused her pain. "//\n\nMalcolm is quiet for a moment. You are given a series of everyday events and must attempt to manage your illness, relationships, job, and possible treatment. She breaks eye contact and takes a deep breath, which spikes your anxiety. \n\nYou look across at the table to your mother, weakly meeting her gaze before dropping your eyes to the floor. You sift through a myriad of legitimate postings, clear pyramid scams, and the occasional miscategorized random personal ad. While you are terrified of seeming melodramatic or defective, more than anything else you're terrified of disappointing Amanda and //not// going. How it could be anything more than just another way that you're weak. You spend the rest of the day with your eyes practically glued to the floor.\n\n[[Next.|placeholder]]\n\n//should this affect stats at all?//, 
\nYou have a day job which you feel is really nothing special. Ultimately it gets late enough that you tell yourself you should probably call it a night. After spending the day feeling like you're a failure already, you can't really handle more of the same from your family regardless of how well they mean. Scanning the party for familiar faces yields nothing, and you're not sure where your girlfriend or the birthday girl got off to. You're not sure if it's how tired you feel or being frustrated from mentally eating away at yourself earlier in the night, but what he says rings true. You can tell he's less than thrilled, but lets you go anyway.\n<>\n[[Next.|thenextDay]]<>\n\n<>, <>
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